Unusual Gifts for the Pirates in Your Life

On November 5, 2020
By Kimberly

Sometimes it’s difficult to come up with something fun and unique for your pirate friends, so, here’s a selection of items your pirate will be surprised and pleased to receive! Find a wooden chest, stock it overflowing with booty, and your pirate will be delighted with their treasures.

Start Their Day With a Skull-Shaped Waffle Maker

Since breakfast is the most important meal of the day for pirates, treat your pirate to some skulls on that breakfast trencher. Apparently, you can even make “biscuit pizzas” with this Individual Black Skull Panini Maker, Hash Brown Maker, Waffle Maker.

I actually have used one of these before – a small pastel-colored one, and it worked great. Whether you call them pancakes or waffles, they are fun.

Pirate Groceries

You don’t want a hungry pirate, so make sure to include some pirate snacks.

These Pirate’s Booty Cheese Puffs are up to pirate standards – no artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives, which pirates abhor. Gluten free, kosher, baked not fried rice and corn puffs with real aged white cheddar cheese.

Pirate GOLD!

No treasure chest is complete without pirate gold! However, pirates do not prefer plastic baubles. They much prefer chocolate! These are the gold coins that I use to decorate my pirate rum cakes – Pirate Rum Cake Recipe – check out that recipe for the ultimate rum cake experience and presentation.

Although most chocolate gold coins are American denominations, no one really notices. I use the RiverFinn Solid Milk Chocolate Coins to decorate around my infamous Pirate Rum Cake. Pirates love anything they can eat, drink, or rub on their bodies – so make them a rum cake while you’re feeling generous.

Vitamin Sea

Here’s a year’s supply of anti-scurvy mediation to put with all that sauerkraut. Nature Made Vitamin C is in my ditty bag, this is a 130-day voyage’s supply. That’s enough for your pirate to sail around the world.

Besides, you just know this is going to make your pirate laugh quite a lot!

Vittles and Grub

In case your tough pirate has gone Keto, Paleo, Vegan, or GlutenFree; here’s some Power Up High Energy Trail Mix to keep their energy and BTU’s up to speed.

Fresh food is going to run out; so it’s best to have some backup grub to put in your pirate’s sea bag. Or in their desk at the office…

Spyglasses and Telescopes

Land HO! Your pirate will appreciate the waterproof and fogproof features of these Bushnell Compact Binoculars. Also, the non-slip rubber armor makes them easy to control while astride a heaving deck, and provides protection.

Twist-up eyecups accommodate even glasses-wearing pirates, and there’s one central knob for adjustments. They are about 10 ounces; light enough to toss in that ditty bag for day trips or longer. Very compact, and comes with a soft case. At 100% waterproof, they are the perfect companion.

Tide Clock

From the reputable Weems & Plath, Endurance Collection 125 Brass Time and Tide Clock is an incredibly thoughtful gift.

You pirate will know exactly when to set sail. By the way, anything from Weems & Plath, such as parallel plotters, nav kits, dividers, and especially a hand-bearing compass all make GREAT stocking stuffers!

Better Check the Weather!

What could be more appropriate for the sailor in your life than an entire weather station?!

The Ambient Weather WS-2902C WiFi Smart Weather Station even reports your pirates’ measurements to Weather Underground, and pirates adore anything “under the weather.”

Wind Speed Meter

My first mate gifted me the Kestrel 3000 Pocket Weather Meter, and we use it far more than I would have thought.

The pirate in your life might, too! Firefighters, farmers, and more use these on the job daily as well.

Calico Jack Rackham Flag

Let your pirate fly their inner seafarer with this Broadsword Old Skull Bones Pirate Flag. Haven’t heard of Calico Jack Rackham? Then the next gift better be one to educate our swashbuckling reader.

Story of Blackbeard and Bahamian Democracy

Disrupted trade routes, pirate captains, sailors and runaways challenge the spread of the Iberian Empires. Woodes Rogers goes after the Pirate Republic.

Make sure to purchase a used copy of The Republic of Pirates – pirates love to reduce, reuse, and recycle. Plus, it’s gotta look like it’s already been across the ocean when it lands on your pirate’s nightstand. The more dog-eared and dirty; the better!

There are dozens upon dozens of worthy pirate reads. Another would be Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island, of course.

A Sharp Blade

Any pirate worth his salt wouldn’t be caught dead without a blade in his pocket. My own pirate chose the Leatherman Skeletool for his everyday carry.

We’ve carried Leatherman knives since they came out 37 years ago. The Skeletool not only has a cool name; it boasts seven tools in one frame; knife, pliers, exchangeable bit driver (my favorite piece!), wire cutters, bottle opener, carabiner, and it’s light enough to carry daily.

In our family, the tradition, wisdom, superstition – whatever you wish to call it – is that it’s no good to gift something sharp as it will sever ties, so, you must give a token payment to the giver of the item. In essence; purchasing it from them. So, have your pirate reward you with a few gold coins in exchange to keep the luck clean.

A Reliable Torch

You don’t even want to know why pirates need torches in their pocket. However, your pirate is going to love this Streamlight 250 Lumen USB Rechargeable Pocket Flashlight.

These have been a favorite gift in our family for anyone who doesn’t already have one! They are quite small and concealable, clip your pocket so they don’t jump overboard, and when you drop them; they land on the ignition button. That makes them light up, so you can find where you dropped them.

The Streamlight is shorter than four inches, and runs about three and a half hours.

Crossbones Skull Bottle Opener

You’d almost be scared to allow your bottled beverage to approach this bad guy! The Cast Iron Wall Mounted Skull and Crossbones Bottle Opener is a must-have for your pirate bar, cave, or galley.

Giant Skulls Ice Cube Mold

You know that larger chunks of ice last longer; so a perfect addition to that pirate galley icebox is this Flexible Silicone Ice Cube Mold Tray that makes four giant skulls. These skulls won’t dilute your whiskey quickly.

Not only will your drinks be impressive, you can use this also for chocolates, jellos, soaps, candles, and cake pops. Everyone loves a good giant skull cake pop!

Ways to Transport That Barrel of …

Dread Rum

Ship Decanter

For the Over-The-Top pirate, the mouth-blown glass Antique Ship Decanter Dispenser is clearly what your marauder most desires. It aerates your spirits – scotch, wine, rum, whiskey, or whatever you’ve got in the barrel.

Garter Flask

Your biggest quandry will be which flask to choose, as long as your pirate is of age. Otherwise, you’ll have to fill their flask with Shirley Temples instead of grog. Concealment is good, so the Bristol Garter Flask is a great choice for your pirate lady.

Compass Canteen

For your more subtle pirate, the Compass Canteen Flask is downright tasteful, and not limited to gatherings of pirates.

Custom Bones

For those who wish for a more graphic flask; a fun option is to give a Personalized Custom Pirate and Cross Bones Flask. What fun you will have coming up with the wording – their name? Or “Down the Hatch?”

Rum runners

Now, if your pirate is not playing at pirate – but an actual freebooter, they will need a set of rum runners for taking on the big ship. We have a set we use for … specialty condiments ourselves; unique spirits we can’t get on the big ship. These Concealable and Reusable Plastic Flasks will work wherever your buccaneer roams.

Sunscreen Flask

The only way you’re going to fail at sneaking this one through customs is if they check for toxic ingredients!
If you search for “sunscreen flasks,” you will be amazed how many are available. This one actually dispenses sunscreen too – the SunFlask Disguised Sunscreen Flask.

BOOM! Or… “Pop”

Your pirate kit simply isn’t complete without a cannon, but in the interest of not disclosing your pirate status to your neighbors – a pack of Legend & Co. Large Multicolor Confetti Cannons.

Time to make some… confetti!!! These are biodegradable – not mylar. Nice “POP!”

Clean Your Dirty Pirate Argh!

After a long day of pillaging and plundering; your pirate will need a good cleaning. Some of Pip & Lola’s The Dread Pirate Salt Bar Soap – deliciously handmade with spiced rum, tangerine, clove, bay, and sea salt bar soap.

Non-Toxic Sunscreen

Those pirate ships are prime for exposed decks and burnt hides. Protect your pirate skin!

Stream2Sea Reef Safe SPF 20 or 30 mineral, regular or tinted sunscreen, mask defog, shampoo, conditioner, rash guards and more reef-safe supplies. Use my code “DeepWH” for 10% off. The packages are biodegradeable – not just recycled and recyclable.

No Scurvy On This Ship!

A Blackbeard Pirate Flag Jolly Roger Skull Black Bones Blood Mask has all the best symbols in one place to keep your pirate healthy.

Now, For The Finishing Touch…

Presentation Is Everything!

Deck Box

For the full Pirate Presentation, a check is almost crucial. Your choice here needs to be something your pirate actually needs and an use; not something just for this one purpose.
First, there’s an Outdoor Deck Storage Box because if you already need one for your porch cushions; this will work perfectly if you are gifting your pirate several large items.

Dresser Top Box

Next, from Blake & Lake is a lovely wood box suitable for a dresser-top sock box or valet for corralling keys, cards holders, glasses, and pocket items. This Antique Style Wood Storage Box would be equally useful in an office, a home office to hold supplies, a den for storing treasure maps, or even on the coffee table for hiding remotes.

Toy Chest

Last, a toy chest in case that’s the best post-pirate party option for your presentation box. This Hardwood Barrel Top Toy Storage Chest has a safety hinge, because even young swashbucklers don’t like pinched fingers.
Word of caution; double check the dimensions of any boxes you order to make sure they are the size you think they are – photos can be deceiving!

Updated November 23, 2020